Summer tangerines are the only fruit we can harvest at Seiryo Junior High. When we went out to do weeding along the line of trees, some boys started making fun of the way I walked.

"Why do you walk like that? What's the matter with you? You look like a kindergarten kid."
"Ah, you're in high spirits. But you're a bit bandy-legged are you?"
They said a lot and laughed a lot, which made me angry. Of course, I ignored them. If I hadn't, I would have cried so much that my tears ducts would have dried up. But I had to try hard not to cry. Somehow I managed not to...

Today there was an incident I really felt frustrated about. It was during the PE period. I changed clothes as usual and went to the meeting place.

"Today," said the PE teacher, "we're going to run to the park one kilometer away. When we get there we'll practuce passing basketballs."
His words struck me to the heart: "Run ... passing basketballs.. " Impossible. I couldn't do that.
"And what are you going to do, Aya?" he asked.
All I could do was look down at the ground.
"Well," the teacher continued, "I think you'll have to study by yourself in the classroom, along with O-chan." (She forgotten to bring her PE outfit to school)

At once my classmate started saying things like, "Oh I envy you, Aya, being able to study by yourself..."
I was boiling inside. I felt like saying, "If you want to study by yourself, I'll gladly change places with you. Even if it's only for one day, I'd like to swap my body with someone else's. Then that person might understand the feelings of someone who can't do things even if they want to. Everytime I walk, or just take one step forward, my body feels unstable and shaky. I feel humiliated and sad that I can't do what everyone else can do. Can't you understand these feelings without experiencing them yourself? Even if you can't have the same feelings as I have, I'd like you to put yourself in my position for just a while."

However, I've had second thoughts about it. Yes, I suppose it is difficult to understand - for me, too. I only realised what it was like after I became like this...